Close Call

Arrived at the same time as CJ today. Thank god he was on the phone as we walked in together. That could have been an awkward conversation.

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"Quit before it's too late."

"You look fit (as in strong)."

Gym/locker room comment. Sadly not MJ or CJ commenting, but an elderly lady referring to any muscles she imagined seeing on my arms. She also told me how she'd played football when she was younger, torn both meniscae twice and now suffers from arthritis, and could not do what she loved the most: mountain walking.
"Young and foolish I was," she said. "Don't make that mistake: quit before it's too late."

Don't worry, lady, I've quit, but whether it's too late or not remains to be seen.

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End of June scar inspection

 

Wow that looks disgusting.

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Bombs & Winnings

I released the bomb to CJ today - that I'm leaving in September. He did not like it. Not at all. "That's great timing," was his reply. I apologised, we hugged it out (or was that in my head?) and I told him I was working on getting in touch with a physio there (white lie, but planning on it at least), but he was adamant: no new physio. Wouldn't let me go. Said that we'd keep in contact via e-mail or phone. I jumped high and yelped "YAY!" (again, possibly in my head). I won't lose him after all :)!

More CJ to the people!

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MJ

Another turquoise day for MJ. Today striped polo shirt (with white).  He does like it.

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Day 29

 Gym, gym, gym. Pulling it back a bit while progressing:














Leg press: 70+75+75
Leg curl: 25+25+25
Balance: 3x1 min
Lifters
Squats (NEW!): 3x10 - OW!
One-legged squats (NEW!): 3x10 - CJ told me to skip this for the moment as it hurt quite bad.
15+15+10 mins cycling
Bit of arms etc as well

Almost at full flexion in Killer exercise. According to Mr Physio I'll be at full mobility in 5 weeks' time.

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Double Trouble

Appointment with CJ today. It went well - he was all smiley and tanned and...tanned. Said everything looks fine, don't worry about the pain, "I'm very happy with mobility progression", "this is going to take time", etc etc. He'd noticed I'd been there every day (looking, are we?) and made sure I wasn't overdoing it (which apparently I am).

I did a mini-session before with mobility so he didn't want to go through the new programme today. That means I get another meeting tomorrow! Yay me! Will be adding more coordination exercises.

If I even begin to think about the future training or even next week or later this week, I freak out. Glanced at training diary from last time. F***. My. Life.

Focus on today, today, today. Cycling + mobility tonight.

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Findings

From my "10 Positive Things Today" list from 16 November 2005. Let me translate:

*Nightmare over!!!
*HP (Harry Potter) tomorrow!
*Normal training!
* Happiness!
* CAN PLAY!
*OVER!
*DONE!
*Absolutely wunderbar!

This is referring to my being declared healthy by physio after 6 months of rehab after first ACL reconstruction. I remember that day. I remember the elevator ride down from second floor where Mr Physio works. I remember I looked in the mirror and could hardly believe it.

Today I went in that same elevator, but for quite a different reason.

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Bad, bad times

That gym session is really being a pain in the knee. Yes, I understand I took too heavy weights, now give it up already! Pain front, pain back, pain sides. All the time, despite painkiller. Even cycling isn't working. I also feel things moving inside when flexing...worried? Me? Maybe.

Tomorrow is CJ appointment day.

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Sightings!

CJ sauntered into the gym with a patient, passed the bicycles, said hello to the old man next to me, then greeted me too and stole a quick glance at my knee before moving on. The rest of the session he kept moving back and forth from the waiting room to the office with patients. He was wearing a black polo shirt (black slims people!) and perfectly fitted jeans. He might need a few sessions of ab work, but those arms are nigh on perfection! Skinny, but muscly - just the way we like it.

It looked dismal for MJ today. I looked, and looked and hoped and looked again, but no sign of his presence. Perhaps he had the day off. Then something white swished past in the hallway. Ah, yes. A white polo shirt with jeans ornamenting MJ indeed. Twice he walked by. God, his posture is straight!

One thing I don't get: these people are inside from 8am-4pm Monday-Friday. How, where, when do they get that TAN?!

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Zombie +10 !

Mr Zombie Physio appeared today - and my, oh, my he must have sensed my less than satisfied air last time. Today he honoured his surroundings with nerdy glasses and immediately scored +10 with me! Wow!

I'm impressed, HS.

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Day 27 - Woops!

Accidentally managed to overdo it at the gym. Leg pressing 82.5 kg was not a good idea, and I don't think my hamstrings liked doing 30 kg leg curl. Well, sorry guys, deal with it!

The more it hurts, the better it is for you, right?

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Blah

Today:

- 20mins cycling
- 20 mins cycling
Mobility
- 10 mins cycling
- 20 mins cycling
Mobility

One of those days. Pain, pain, pain. No progress, no progress, no progress. 5 weeks in, I'm already bored with this. Bah.

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What the F am I doing?

So. Sunday. I've been rather productive I must say. Applied for accommodation in Tokyo, found out that the guy who was supposed to go with me is no longer going, thereby inducing some slight panic attacks on my side, cycling, mobility etc. And a couple of hours nap.

So another day goes by. . . .

Tomorrow is gym at 8.30am - AGAIN! Why, oh, why do I keep doing that to myself?

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Day 26

So it's decided: I will not go away at all this summer. Simply not possible with the knee and training etc. Been away now since Friday noon and it's a mess. Managed 15 mins cycling + mobility before leaving, then obviously no cycling during the stay at the summer house. Did some mobility but not enough and the lack of cycling did a lot of damage!

Got home today, after over 36 hours of no internet, no phone, no computer - and I survived. No trouble. So relaxing. But, as I said, realised there is no way I can go away again - I need the cycling!

Today was decent, but not sufficient:

- Mobility (no balance, no benders)
- 20 mins cycling
- Mobility (full)
- 20 mins cycling

Tomorrow we're back on it!

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Day 24

Sometimes I look at my healthy knee and think "You don't look the same."

I'm off to a summer house to celebrate Midsummer - the biggest day of the year in Sweden. We eat pickled herring, boiled potatoes, chives and sour cream and loads of strawberries. Then we dance around a giant penis and sing about how frogs don't have ears or tails. Let's call it post-traumatic stress from the dark and dismal winter.

Have a good weekend!

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Certain progress

Now feel confident walking in revolving doors without risk of getting stuck and falling flat on my face. Win!



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OMG!

I may have just stumbled across MJ's cell phone number.


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Zombies & Beavers

My physio theory has been challenged. Or theory and theory, observations rather. For the uninvited: all physios (male) are extremely attractive as a whole package. They've got the intelligence, the fitness, the tannedness (for some reason they're all tanned!) and are generally overall gorgeous.

But. Where CJ and MJ (and Ken) work, there are two more physios: TH (let's call him Castor) & HS (aka Master Zombie). Now, Castor looks like an overgrown beaver, but I'm sure he's nice enough. Sadly not hot in any way: bit pouchy, bit of a beer belly and in all honesty his beard does him no favours. Master Zombie is nice - I saw him last year for the knee - but zero, ZERO, expression of emotion! No joke, either he lacks facial muscles to do so, or he is one of those mutants who can't feel anything at all. Either way, he's a little disconcerting. And, like Castor, not particularly hot (or tanned for that matter). He's got the height at least.

Stay tuned for updates. Perhaps they'll charm me around?!

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Monsters #2

Forget what I said earlier. Today must surely have been monster session. Went there at 8.30am with little to no motivation/energy/oompf. 3 hours later I was done, and mostly because the knee hurt.

15 mins cycling
Leg press: 77.5+77.5+80 (15 reps)
Leg curl: 25+27.5+30 (10 reps)
Lifters: 3x 10x10secs
Balance: 3x 1 min
Killer exercise: 3x (3x10-5-5-5)
15 mins cycling
Arm session: biceps/chest/flies/shoulder
Calf raises: 3x 15 (hold 5 secs)
Abs: plank (3x1min)/Russian twist (3x 50 reps)
20 mins cycling
Stretch

4 days 'til next gym session: i.e. plenty of mobility coming up this weekend!

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"How's it going?"

When the old man training barefoot asked: "How's it going? Is it the knee?" I wanted to point out sarcastically that yes, moron, it's the knee 'cause that's where the plasters are! but not even my extremely short temper for the day could avoid yielding to the niceness of his question. We had a moment of mutual weary complaining before we went our separate ways again.

Gotta love the gym.

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Pain, pain, pain

2 ½ hour gym session today included the following:

15+10+10 mins cycling
Leg press: 75+75+77.5+77.5 kg (15 reps)
Leg curl: 25+25+27.5+27.5 kg (10 reps)
Sit/lift 10 secs x10 reps (x4)
Balance: 4 x 1 minute (part closed eyes)
Balance: Right leg 4x8 reps on balance Airex
Killer exercise 6x (3x 10-5-5-5 secs) i.e. bend, hold X seconds, bend further, hold X secs and so on. Stretch fully after 1 set of 3.
Heel slides 3x15 reps (5 sec count)
Pressers: 3x 10x10 secs
Bending/stretching

Also managed some biceps + upper back work. Tired? Me? Never! Got another sesh booked at 8.30am tomorrow. Mistake? Me? NEVER!

(Doing an additional 15 minutes cycling tonight)

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Colours in Motion

Q: How do you feel about the colour tourquoise?

A: Me, I'm undecided.

MJ obviously likes it as he was sporting a very tourquoise polo shirt at work today. Oh, yes, sightings indeed. Three even! And one was close up! God he's tanned...

Again I'd like to believe he looked, but I can't be sure. I have a new strategy. I'll be spending a lot of time there, so just going to casually be around for a while so that he starts to recognise me, then sneakishly...do something. That's a later stage in the plan. Let's stick with phase 1 for now.

Watch out, MJ..

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Flashback

In June 2010 I had an MRI done. When the results came back in August (because doctors need holidays too...) I was told the ACL was intact and there was a tear in the medial meniscus. A simple keyhole surgery would fix the problem and I'd be back in basketball in 4-6 weeks. Happy days! So in September I went in for what was my third knee surgery. When I woke up "Dr" Ken told me that unfortunately the ACL was completely ruptured and meniscus was fine. And he couldn't do anything about the ACL obviously in a keyhole surgery. So a completely unnecessary procedure. But what can you do? MRIs don't always show things explicitly. However (and there's always a 'however') earlier this year, months after, I got to see the MRI myself. And I'm no doctor, but I think a monkey could see that the ACL clearly isn't there. Shreds of it can be seen, but where they imagined the "intact ligament" to be, I have no idea.

The left one is a normal, unruptured ACL. The right one is mine in June.

Also note that there are two holes in the tibia (thigh bone) but that's another tragic story within the story.

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Scar Inspection

Sightings...

Also met Ken today (unsure who Ken is?) but that was a less pleasant sighting. He even nodded at me. NODDED! Who NODS at someone? Apparently Ken does. Come to think of it, he is the typical 'nodder'. Bah. I gave him a semi-smile in return.

Of course, he has no idea that I hate him, or even the reason why. Still - twat.

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Oh, CJ...

CJ walked back and forth, getting new patients, during my gym session. No contact at all. As the clock closed on 3.30pm, the other physios began to lock up their offices for the day, but CJ was still with a patient. That's when he appeared.

Deafened by Blue's I Can in the iPod, a hand waving in front of my face attracted my attention. My hand flung up and tore out the earphones, temporarily silencing the music. Looking up, I met CJ's smiling face. He pointed at my leg and said "Good job, glad to see it's getting there." I smiled, shook my head in slight resignation and said that well, I'd been there for 1 ½ hours so... CJ smiled again. "Well," he said as he started walking back to the patient he'd abandoned to talk to me, "it's good to see that it's improving - that's all I wanted to say." And then he walked off as I managed a whimpering "Thank you".

His exit might as well have been accompanied by a wall of smoke and some atmospheric music - it was that dramatic. Oh, CJ...

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Bend it like Beckham?

It looks disgusting, I know, forgive me. That is supposedly my knee. After 1 ½ hours in the gym today this is what I managed! From a slight panic attack yesterday regarding mobility, and Mr Physio's subsequent threats, somewhere, somehow I gathered the energy to do something about it. So - 1 ½ hours bending, stretching, cycling etc, and at the end I did the killer exercise and got down to almost almost full flexion.

I'm going to live in that gym from now on, and make sure this is indeed my last ACL rehabilitation.

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Xtra, xtra

Spontaneous extra gym session booked today. Will be mostly mobility because this is crunch time! And it's not like I'm doing anything else anyway...

CJ will definitely be there; fingers crossed for MJ too!

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Sightings!

1 ½ hours in the gym paid off! Spotted MJ no less than THREE (!) times (I'd like to believe we had eye contact, but he might as well just have looked at the chair next to me) and my crush for him got even stronger. When he was walking back after the second time he did a little jump in the hallway and landed on one leg. Don't know why that struck me as adorable instead of weird, but it did. Oh, MJ...!

Also met CJ. Only briefly as he was on his way out. He asked me how it was going and I expressed my concern about mobility. He said that "we're getting to the point where I have to help you with that, and you don't want that."

Is that a threat or a promise, CJ?

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Day 22 - Monsters

Just came back from a semi-monster gym session. Not monster in general terms, but for me, right now, big one.

Improvements:

Leg press: 75 kg (tried 80, just not working)
Leg curl: 25 kg (felt so good about this!)

But now in tremendous pain and it's also just one of those days. So, accordingly, stuffing myself with liquorice.

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Sunday - check!

Today:

9.30am - 15 mins cycling
1.30pm - 15 mins cycling; strength; mobility
6pm - 15 mins cycling; mobility
10.30pm - 15 mins cycling; mobility

Post-work out: ICE!

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Enough's enough

Today's sentiment! Still don't have full mobility range in the knee and can't walk properly. I have no idea whether this is normal (mental note to ask Mr Physio Monday) but I feel it should improve at a higher rate than it is at the moment. So, accordingly, today I stepped it up a notch. Tougher, harder, better exercising and bending. Added an exercise (above) that I usually do on gym days, but it feels helpful so thought I'd to it today as well.

So far done 45 mins cycling and 2 mobility sessions. Looking forward to 15 more mins and 1 more session tonight. Oh, the joy! Also now very achy and swollen so sporting the iceband for the time being.

Ta!

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Flashback

 

2003. Cup in Finland. The observant reader will notice there is no scar on the knee. We came fifth. Out of six teams. My team only managed to beat one team in the four days. One of the players in that team now plays for the national team. 

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Day 21

Oh, Sunday. Time to make up for yesterday's setback. This means 3 mobility sessions + at least 50 mins cycling. 10 down, 40 to go...

While sitting on the bicycle at 10am this morning, recently returned sister sat in sofa and asked: "Is it fun?"
- No, it's not fun, sister dear, but necessary and all for a good - brilliant even - cause. It's not often you get a chance to reclaim the life you once lost, if only a little bit of it.

Have a great day!

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Saturday

Today's training was not good. The knee has been very swollen all through so thought I'd rest it a bit. Not good, not good at all. Will have to do it properly tomorrow.

9.30am - 10 mins cycling
1.30pm - 10 mins cycling + mobility + strength
7.30pm - 10 mins cycling

This is definitely not enough. Lacking at least 10 mins cycling + mobility session. And I've done nothing else so don't even have an excuse! Bad, bad, bad.

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Thankful Moment #2

Another one of those moment struck me today. Every single day I'm pretty much bored to beyond any limit, and nothing ever happens. Of course, at the moment, I am a bit immobilised as I can't move properly. But even after I regain that, nothing will happen. I have no job, not a lot of friends left here, won't be able to play obviously, and my hometown is crap so there's nothing to do. HOWEVER! However, this boring, horrible, tedious time is perfect for rehabilitation. With nothing else to do; no obligations, no must-dos, no commitments, I can focus on rehab and exercise and getting this goddamn knee into shape before I head off to Tokyo. Unlimited hours can be spent in the gym without feeling stressed about something else. God knows I don't have much time - 2 months - so I need to do as much as I can.

So, in spirit of recent gratefulness, I will now take another moment of being thankful for the good aspects of this situation, and the - if it ever is - decent timing.

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Day 20

Since when are Saturdays pointless? I always knew Sundays were, but Saturdays? Every day is the same in rehabilitation lands. Monday or Friday, it's cycling and lifting and bending and stretching. A clear beginning but a distant end, and a couple of loops in between. Just like the week itself. Symmetry much?


It's swollen and achy today. My guess is that I overdid the cycling yesterday. Bad JoJo.

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Working the work-out

Today's:

8am - Gym:
10 mins cycling
Leg press: 60+70+72.5 kg (3x15 reps)
Leg curl: 15+20+20 kg (15-10-10)
Balance: 3x1 minute w. movement
Stretch/lift: 3x 10x10 secs
Sit/press: 10x10 secs
Stretch
4pm - 15 mins cycling
7pm - 25 (!) mins cycling
9pm - Mobility

Even more lift in leg now! Walking also much easier. WinWinWin!

x

More progress!

Leg less swollen than before. I win!

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Luxury problems

Just as my hair has grown long enough to form a decent braid - epic hair-do for basketball - I get so badly injured that I will never ever play again. Bah.

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Good luck

The gym. A place for the wounded, the spent, the beweakened, a place without sound, a place for small talk with strangers, for hollow 'good luck's and polite smiles. Two older women chatted to me today. Made two friends! We talked about the rain, about injuries, about training and such topics. One of them said I was too young to be there. Oh, if she only knew I was a veteran in the business. She wished me good luck.

And she also told me about her grandson. He played football. He'd gotten injured. 'Injured' is really not sufficient to depict his state: both ACL and PCL ruptured, side ligament ruptured, 2 arteries ruptured. THROUGH FOOTBALL! How does that happen? Not even the doctors could tell. Your PCL you only tear in accidents e.g. involving cars or bicycles usually. If you tear it, you're pretty much going to be invalid for the rest of your life. It's not fixable (last time I checked). Not only his football career is over.

Made me think. Maybe in a disturbed way I should be glad it's not worse for me than it is. I can't relate to people in car crashes who break necks and backs and are paralysed for life. That's another level, and another forum. I might as well be glad I wasn't run over or that a meteor didn't crash on Earth today (for which I am thankful, don't get me wrong). But sports is...sports. I still have the hope of playing basketball again should I want it. Maybe. He doesn't. I'll be able to run and live a normal life - maybe.

I'll take a grateful break in this pity party for one. Namaste.

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Today's purchase

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7.30am

Why, oh, why do I keep booking gym sessions at 8am? This is too early to be up - let alone go for a work-out!

Maybe I'll spot CJ and/or MJ today. . . .

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Summary

Today's training:

8.30am - 10 mins cycling
12.30pm - 10 mins cycling + strength + mobility
5.30pm - 15 (!) mins cycling
8.30pm - 10 mins cycling + mobility

Been rather immobile the rest of the day so it's a bit stiffened up and achy. However, the numbness on the outside is beginning to fade ever so slightly and the bruising is easing off. Walking is still hobbly and I've got some pains on the inner side which I'll ask Mr Physio about.

Gym tomorrow!

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Thursday

What a pointless day. Productivity level basement-style. Learnt a couple of fruits in Japanese, read 3 pages in my Stephen King novel ('Cell') and watched The Apprentice + You're Fired. Yay me!

Jim is scary. He should be a defence lawyer! "But we have video footage of the murder, he's wearing his ID badge on his forehead, he has confessed to the murder, he picked out her ear from his pocket and there were eyewitnesses who saw him do it!" Jim goes: "Let me tell you what happened here..." five minutes later, he's off the case. But can he pull all the way? Hm, I'm not sure...

The knee stiffens so badly when I sit still for a while. Activity anyone?

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Progress!

Huge progress even! In the exercise above you contract thigh muscles and press the back of knee down into the ground. When done successfully, the ankle will lift slightly off the ground (try it). Mr Physio said that "when the ankle shifts, then we're getting somewhere." This morning, it did.

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My hoods

My gym is the most depressing place on earth. The only reason I'm training there this summer is because a. it's for free and b. it's in the same place where my physio works so I'll always have him around to ask questions etc.

Let me paint you the picture: it's sterile in light wood floor and white walls. All the equipment follows colour pattern blue/white or light grey. There is one piece of equipment for each machine (except for the bikes, there are 5 bikes) and there is no planning done for the placements, but machines are chucked out here and there. It's about the size of a standard kitchen. There is no music at all.

The only people who come here are injured and treated by the physios here. Middle-aged or above, pouchy elders dressed in Adidas sweatpants which are put a leeeeettle bit too high in the waist, matching t-shirts and more often than not a funky sweatband around the head.

It is a place for the misfits of the Universe, the ones who's taken a blow and are stappling to find their way back. Sometimes there is a younger person there - me - and I can for once feel young and fresh and skinny among the 50-something beer bellies bursting through tight t-shirts.

Thank god for CJ and MJ.

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Ken

Not sure if I've put it here or not, but anyways, here goes: the reason for the failure of my first ACL reconstruction has to me been a mystery for a long time. About 7 years, in fact. Throughout this time I've come up with the most ludicrous ideas as to why it, and I, failed. I didn't eat enough protein; I didn't push myself enough on the bicycle; I missed a session; I started playing to early; and so on.

Not until now, a third of my life later, did I find out the true reason. It wasn't me. I had nothing to with it. In fact, there was nothing (save for quitting sports altogether) that I could have done to change the outcome of the surgery. It was doomed to fail. The surgeon, believe it or not, messed up. He placed the tibia (upper) tunnel wrong so that the new ACL was placed in a completely wrong angle. The surgeon I saw in England - and his colleague - laughed heartily at the x-rays. It simply could not have worked.

Since I found this out, I had not seen him. Until today. For two months now I've been harvesting evil thoughts about him and today at the gym he walked by on his way to a patient. Of course he doesn't know that I know. I'm not even sure he knows WHAT I know! I gave him the evil eye nonetheless. Oh, and he looks like a slightly aged, ill-preserved Ken doll. Twat.

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Day 19 - Scars

As promised, here are photos of the big scar. I somewhat regret not taking pictures with the staple things on, but oh, well, this will have to do. It looks like it's healing well, and if I'll just keep it out of the sun it will hopefully not look too bad in the future. So - and Tony, brace yourself now. . . .

                 

Is it just me or does it look a bit. . . .slanted to the right?

 Still quite swollen this one. And bruised.

Roughly about 15 cm long!

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Wednesday

10 minutes cycling (warm-up)
Leg press: 50+60+60 kg (15 reps)
Leg curl: 12.5+15+15 kg (15 reps)
10 x 10 secs flex/lift
10+ 3x5 prone knee flexion
15 calf raises
Balance: 30+40+60 secs
General bending/stretching

Almost there walking in stairs now! Off the crutches completely as well.

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Today

Today's training summary:

9am - 10 mins cycling
11am - 10 mins cycling + mobility + strength
7pm - 10 mins cycling (lowered one level) + mobility + strength

Pain levels: 6/10 because of walking, side 7/10, not sure why.

Tomorrow is gym day!

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Wounds

One of the smaller wounds. Had 5 staple-thingys there. Tomorrow I present to you the big one! The red spot to the right is from keyhole surgery in September.

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Shoes!

New shoes, new shoes! Nike Air-something X-something SuperÜberAmazing-something! Half price, double quality - couldn't possibly be better.

Debut @ gym tomorrow.

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New trend?

What do you say, Tuners? New IT-thing?

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Shoes!

Today's activity is SHOE SHOPPING! Finally! New running/training shoes are to join the JoJo family, and I am très excited! No idea what I'm looking for, but cheap and colourful. And good for the knees obviously. Why are running shoes often so ugly?

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Day 18

Another day, and a grey one in Sweden. No gymming on this Tuesday, so back to mobility exercises and bend and stretch and bend and stretch. Can announce I am now walking without crutches. It's slow, it's wobbly, I look more like a rabid possum than anything else - but goal 1 achieved! Also on level 4 on bike now.

Next goal: 1. Manage 20 press-ups and 2. Walk normally in stairs (I sort of do this already, but walking down is still difficult).

Let the challenge begin...

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Story

Oh, for the short story thing. I'm such an idiot. No, really (why is nobody protesting???). In the ad, I read the limit as 4,000 words. So I wrote a story of 4,000 words, and was actually ok-ish happy with it.

Was just about to send it in so I re-read the ad to find out what I needed to include. What happens? Realise that it's 4,000 CHARACTERS maximum. My story was roughly 21,300 characters. Damn. After ruthless editing/cutting down I sent in a crappy half-ass story which didn't have half of the goodie stuff it had before. Blah. 

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More training

Right, forgot about the actual theme of this blog - it's not My Second Physio Love (cause that would be a gross miscalculation of history first of all), so relevant stuff: new, and tougher training programme.

Leg press, leg curl, cycling, balance work & more mobility is on the schedule. Three times a week + continue with the other exercises I've done before. I asked physio about the crackling and pain, but he said it was probably - PROBABLY - normal. But he seemed concerned about hamstring pain. Hm. Will keep a record of that.

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Day 18 - CJ

Another little itsy-bitsy meeting with my lovely CJ. I'm starting to think I wore some kind of sober beer goggles last time. He looked pouchier. Or maybe he just had a lazy weekend comfort eating because he needs a lady in his life...? Still no ring on that finger.

BUT! There's another one I will keep my eyes on too. He's younger, fresher, MORE tanned, fitter (!) & taller than CJ. He's MJ. And he's goddamn hot, if you'll excuse my wording. MJ is a fitness-something (like a nutritionist, but for exercise) so you can imagine. And tall and handsome. And tanned. Very much so. But he looks like one of those who knows it. Bah - I don't mind.

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I hate you

That is all.

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Day 17

...and a whole 2 hours out in the real world. Wow. Used one crutch and leg is still worn out. Rest? Who needs rest? I've got 2 training sessions left today + a cycling one and leaving for grandma's in 2 hours. Where's Hiro from Heroes when you need him?

Honestly though, how do people do this with a job?

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Saturday Bitterness

What a lovely Saturday evening. Had my best friend come over and talk old and new times. We ended up with old which included basketball memories, which led to stalking people we used to play against online. In doing this, we realised that most of them are still playing, and are playing for teams in the highest national league - and some even play pro in Europe/US. Not only players who were in the national team try-outs, oh no, but players who pretty much sucked.

Also realised that both of us could potentially have had similar careers had not this or that happened. For me, of course, if my coach had finished training at 18.00 o'clock as planned and not run that extra minute to 18.01 that Friday in April 2004. Ifs, and buts, and coulda woulda shouldas. . . .

Knee is swollen and achy. Will not bend properly. But who's bitter?

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Je te promis. . . .

I can now announce something I've decided. It's been on my mind for a while, but I realise now that it is the best decision, and by making it official, it will hopefully become more real, and keep me to it.

As follows: during the summer 2011, i.e. effective immediately and until I leave to for Tokyo in early September, I will not drink alcohol.

The reason being that I have a very short period for rehabilitation to begin with, and I cannot afford any setbacks, or at least not ones I can control myself. Alcohol has significant effect on muscle growth etc and therefore it is for the sake of my knee and future knee that I shall be sober this summer.

That is all.

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Day 16

Swollenness. My ambitious cycling yesterday + today (thought starting with 10 minutes this morning might loosen up the muscles. I was wrong.) plus a round of the programme has rendered my leg twice its normal size. Ice? Ice.

The exercise to the right is what kills me. Yes, you laugh all you can, but it's excruciating. None other word can be applied. 5-10 reps says physio. I say 5. More than that and I might faint. I've managed 8 once. Once!

C.J: "We need to get mobility back. If you can't bend it, we'll have to force it."
- I don't want to think about Monday...

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Blue Friday

Still so bruised! Ankle assaulted. On another note: short story is written. Now on to editing. Deadline for competition is Sunday! On Sunday I'll also reveal the title...stay tuned.

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Forgetful

Sometimes when I sit still it somehow slips my mind that I've had the op, that my legs aren't the way they used to be. But trust me, when I stand up, I remember. I suppose it's a good sign, really.

Did 10 minutes just now on the bike, level 3/8. Now suffering for my ambitious nature. Ow.

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Day 15

Moving forward! Dropped one level in the bike saddle today (which means I have to bend the knee more in cycling) and upped the resistance a level. Am now on 3/8. Amazingness. Will have to step it up a bit more as the day progresses though - it's too slow.

And, as is rare lately, slept through the night. No nightmares, no pain (well, did take a painkiller before sleep) and awoke rested and ready at 8am.

Now - writing!

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Back in business #1

The plank - check!

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Day 14

It's still very, very swollen. Or is that me getting fat? Either way, I don't like it.

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Learning to fly

 

Or at least learning to walk. And cycle. Both at the same time. I am ordained by physio to cycle 5 minutes a couple of times a day, and increase if the knee doesn't get swollen. Done 2 * 5 minutes today. Let me tell you this: the knee is swollen. But hey, let's do it again some time?!

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One of those...

Yesterday's activity was partly a game for the European Championship Qualifications for Ladies' basketball. Sweden vs Norway and double interest for me. In Norway, some of my friend's old team mates when she played in the national team (yes, I'm friends with a superstar), and in Sweden, many of the players I used to play against. Naturally Sweden won, 76-31, but it was a good game for the most part. Frida Eldebrink is definitely the best player Sweden has, and has had for quite a while. She's 23, plays in Czech Republic and has, together with her twin Elin, been the key of our national team for YEARS. She can shoot, she can dribble, she can defend, she can do fricking everything! Pure awesomeness in flesh.

However, also got me thinking. My first ACL happened when I was 14, as you may know. What you might not know is that it happened on a Friday, but not any Friday. It was:

- the Friday before the second to last round of regional try-outs for the national team.
- the Friday 2 weeks before the Nordic Championship.
- the Friday 4 weeks before regional play-offs where I was supposed to play for 2 teams.
- the Friday at the end of the season before the year where we went up to the third highest division in the country.
- the Friday mid-way through my 3-year basketball academy high school.

Bitter doesn't suit me well, but I guess we all commit fashion crime once in a while...

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Oh, I almost forgot...

I am also in a lot of pain at the moment, after physio's forcing of poor, poor muscles and tendons. And I've been on a bike for the first time. Been ordained to cycle for 5 minutes a couple of times a day and then increase, increase, increase and mobility improves.

Success, here I come!

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C.J.

Progress!

Thanks to my awesome social skills (...) I have found out things. Big things. Crucial things. But first, let me tell you about the physio visit itself.
C.J was skinnier, fitter, and more tanned than ever before. I could barely hold my face straight when he came out in the waiting room. Wow. He flashed his ice blue eyes at me from under his blonde (dyed to perfection) semi-fringe and gave me a slanted smile. "How fortunate," I thought to myself, "that my eyebrows look so good today." Surely he noticed too. He then gestured for me to come through and made a joke about the crutches. I laughed as chirpy and lovely as I could.

We went into his office and he kept smiling. Showed me the exercises and expressed consideration for my pains. And then. Then. In booking our next appointment (Monday already - yay!) he said he usually struggled to get in at 8am in the mornings because the traffic was ridiculous where he lived. I asked a question to pry, without letting him know I was prying. At this point I'd noticed the absence of a ring on his left hand. In answer to my question, and he seemed happy I asked but maybe that's just me, he told me where he lived and that he had to leave kids (yes, plural) at kindergarden in the morning etc. So there is no ring, but at least two kids. Divorced? Not engaged? Forgot the ring.

The mystery continues...

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Day 13

Two weeks since surgery and my bed-rest days are officially over! And who needs a soft start? Today's schedule is packed to the max, starting in an hour. First, physio 11.30 (oh, C.J...we meet again), then stitch-removing at 2pm, after which a friend will pick me up and we'll go either into town or her place for food until the national team game in ladies' basketball begins at 6.45pm. Scandinavian clash again with Sweden and Norway.

My little adventure yesterday to the eyebrow place - which was being driven there, walking for 2 minutes, lying down, another 2 minute walk, then drive home - took all energy I had, so today will be interesting to say the least. Also probably marks the beginning of some serious work-out regime. If I said I was excited, I'd be lying.

Ta!

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Eyebrows

I have new eyebrows. A wash of the hair tomorrow before physio and I'll be back-ish to my normal self. 

The day has been quiet - again. Started writing the story, got about 1,000 words which is a decent start, and I think I managed to get a nice tone to the beginning. Editing needed of course, but considering past failures, I refuse to complain.

Watching Sweden vs Finland at the moment. Current standing 5 - 0 to Sweden! Thanks to brilliant offense and 3 goals by Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 1 by Kim Källström, and 1 by Bajrami. The guy to the right is our new coach, Eric Hamrén. Thanks for the magic, Erik, and for returning that hopeless hope in our Swedish hearts for a team which will, granted, never ever win anything.

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Day 12

...is it day 12? I think so. Tuesday at least and another unproductive day. Slight announcement for my 6 readers (yesterday at least): my local newspaper has a short story competition on. I will take my lazy sorry ass and get it in gear, write one and send it in. If, if, if, it is chosen and published, I will translate it in its entirety and put it up here. Let's see. If they choose it it'll probably be because no one else sent one in, but hey, let's see how it goes.

Now off to fix eyebrows. Tomorrow I make my return to the real world.

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Happy National Day Sweden!

Sugar Rush

Wow, mum's pear/apple/red currant pie + chocolate soy ice cream. Haven't had this much sugar since...well, February if I'm to be honest. Bad discipline, the Big Summer Sin has been committed.

Knee status: achy + stiff.

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Day 11

Am now walking with one crutch only! Give me a week and I'll be sporting my flowery cane so thoughtfully given by Sammi and Hal, and I'll be properly like House! Did anyone watch the season finale by the way? Holy frick...!

Next goal I suppose is to achieve full flexibility of the leg. Can pretty much stretch fully, but bending still lacks 90 degrees or so. Then again, the papers said it can take up to 3 months to get that...hmm, ok, let's say get rid of painkillers (3 yesterday) then. I now understand why I was in so much pain last time. These itsy-bitsy feeble tablets don't do nothing! Mechanics, no magic. Oh, that sounds a lot like someone I know...

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