5 stages of grief: Anger

2. Anger
"Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"

Oh, how we have been here. The frustration, the bitterness, the eternal question - WHY ME? All of these other players who don't care as much, who don't train as much, and who don't carry the same sky-high dreams - why no them? I've found blame everywhere and nowhere - my coach for taking that extra minute of training; myself for being pumped and doing unnecessary defence; the surgeon for messing up the surgery; the physio for not being proper (sorry CJ!); my knee for being a twat and not healing; the Universe for making me part of that small percentage who re-tear the reconstructed ACL; etc, etc. Nowadays I mostly blame the surgeon but the question above still resides inside as an integral part of my heart. Why me? Why not that girl who couldn't care less if she could never play again?

Of course, she didn't train as hard and didn't have as much opportunity to get injured. In a way, it was my passion that allowed me to get hurt. All those hours in the sports hall; the game, the training, the - everything. But naturally the logic behind it doesn't matter. It is what it is, and the anger I felt (or feel?) does not respond to logical arguments. It only listens to the language of the Soul.

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