Yesterday:

7k, 41 minutes

Every single step it felt like it'd give way and fold completely. Not sure how to handle this problem.

Today:

15 mins cycling
Leg press: 65+67.5+70 kg
Leg extension: 3x 28.5 kg
Lunges: 3x 10+10/leg 2x 7kg
Agility ladder + sprint: 15 minutes
Bending
Stretching

I need to run, both knee-wise and weight-wise, but I can't. In my head, literally, every step flashes an image of it folding, and in all honesty it feels as though it is about to as well. At the moment it is quite painful and I'm not sure if that is because I've moved too little, or too much. Yes, I've spent a few days more or less still most of the time because of studying/writing - but I've gone to the gym 6 days per week, doing all the stuff I'm supposed to. Last week, 25 km run in 3 sessions.

Whatever I do it seems to go wrong. This makes me sad, I eat, I get fat, everything is flunked down a notch, and so it begins again. Maybe I'll attempt running tomorrow. Maybe. I don't know what to do anymore.

13 months post-op and I feel like it should be at least a little better than it is. It hurts most of the time, I can't do anything significant - not even strength! - and it honestly gives me more trouble than pleasure right now. Funny thing is that in my head I'm imagining it'll be fine once I hit Europe - but why on earth would it???

So frustrating.

x