Day -1

After 2 ½ hours sleep, I left my flat, my flatmate, my village and flew back to Sweden. Thank god for waterproof mascara is all I will say!

So ventured to Sophiahemmet and Capio Artro Clinic in Stockholm to see Magnus Forssblad. I was so surprised! In his e-mails he's always been very short, very direct - but in person, he was the loveliest person! Not at all like previous surgeons I've had (not mentioning names) who seemed to treat patients as though we were massproduced t-shirts who just needs a generic print on before being chucked out. Oh, no, not this one. Asked me terrible, terrible question: "Are you sure you want to do this?" No, I'm bloody well not sure, but I think I have to.

So the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. 10.30am. Seeing the physio at 8am (please, please let him be hot - I have a thing for physios) and then a little wait before the big thing. Decision made to go for patella, as it is the second one. Other option would have been hamstring from healthy leg, but considering it's one of the few limbs on my body actually undamaged (knock knock), I think I'd rather keep it that way.

I can't believe this is the last day of my knee as we know it. I've had it ACL deficient for no less than seven years, and I don't even remember what it is like having a healthy one. What can you do? When I've been asked if I want to do sports, and what, I never know what to answer. My possibilities at the moment are very limited, and the scenario where I would actually be able to do stuff seems far, far away. Then again, I should not get ahead of myself. There is a 50/50 chance here, and it can go either way. But still...the thought it dazzling..

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