Guessing this blog is going to die down fairly soon, although it might be a good idea to keep up the training diary for my own records.
But don't think it's dying because the ACL story is ending, not at all. I am not that fortunate. In fact, it's taking a new turn these days. It would only die because of lack of interest, energy or spirit to continue it, whether it be in writing or real life.
A week ago I had an MRI done, just to check that nothing was broken as I've had some serious trouble lately. The doctor was going to call me with the results - which he did - and I managed to miss the call. He left a voice mail though.
You know those scenes in films and tv-series where a character will get a voice mail or a phone call with bad news and just drop the phone? That's what it felt like, sort of. Heart just sunk to the bottom of my chest when I heard it, and I've listened to it a few more times, just to make sure I interpreted it correctly. No, the ACL is not torn again, and I admit that that would have been worse. The message he left is probably the third worst scenario that could have happened. As follows:
The MRI was inconclusive but not entirely good (he used a Swedish expression which I'm struggling to translate). ACL looks fine but there is an irregularity in the meniscus. He suggests I keep at it during the autumn and then get in touch if it doesn't work and we'd consider what to do, for example go inside to check = another surgery. He left his number as well.
So, in short - I still don't know. Well, I know that there is something with the meniscus but apparently not enough to do something about at the moment. I'm where I was before, pretty much.
Also, being back at university where I used to play basketball, being friends with girls in the team...it's hard. I was down there for practice and couldn't stand it more than 5 minutes before I had to leave. Chest tightened and felt the panic approach as I stood watching them, now knowing that I'd never be able to do that again. Not even for fun. And it's not just that, you know, I've almost reconciled with that fact - but it's that I can't do anything at all. Whatever I do, it hurts. I can't live a normal life, and that's just fucking (pardon my French) depressing.
Anyway, I'm going to call this guy and ask what I should do. Probably get in touch with a physio too. Don't know if anyone still reads this blog, but there you go. For ACL peeps - don't worry, you'll be fine. I genuinely believe that. It's just me that the Universe likes to fuck with in every possible way.
Ciao.
x
